Rob was left in my wake wondering what on earth was going on and why was I saying 'shit' so much. I yelled at him from the bedroom about the course as I was frantically looking for my half decent work skirt in the wardrobe that of course couldn't be found in my flustered state. I remembered the advice I had just given to the 14 year old this morning before she headed off for her exam, when panicking close your eyes breath and reopen to start again. Although every fibre of my body was screaming SHIT and HURRY UP I closed my eyes and forced myself to breath...it helped a little...a tiny little smidge!! Great for exams but not so great when running late for a bloody course that the boss has paid hundreds for you to attend!!! Found the skirt and as I am hurriedly zipping the skirt up I accidentally zip my flesh....@#$##$#@#@!! Carefully while sucking my tummy in and not breathing I unzip my flesh from the skirt and regroup.
Right calm down...now which top....SHIT...SHIT.....SHIT..... I picked one which I quickly threw on, made difficult by my under stress hot flashes and sweatyness. Not loving it...WHO CARES... really not loving it...HURRY UP...can't do it, by this stage I am opening draws like a mad woman, clothes flying and no draw seems to want to bloody shut because I'm in a rush! Found a second top...that looks crap...WHO CARES... I FLIPPING CARE...YOU'RE LATE AND IT'S NOT A FASHION SHOW...look I'm going to be walking in late and I don't want to walk in feeling like I look crap too...OK??!!! Found a third top...OK that will do...by this stage I am a frazzled hot sweaty mess, the thing with hot and sweaty is that this leads to hot, sweaty and frizzy...frizzy hair that is...boofing out in every direction like I am some unkempt mad woman...fantastic, feeling really beautiful at this point!
OK no time for full make up here but I am going to be walking into a professional business environment where I'm not only going to be late, when it was advised all over the emails regarding the course to be there early, but I am more than likely going to be the most under dressed person attending. Right so a quick brush of foundation powder over my face, won't do much but will make me feel a little better, now for some mascara.....BLOODY CASEY....muttering as I run to her room, which is a tip by the way, picking things up on the hunt for my eyelash curlers. You'd think I had not bought her some of her own and that we hadn't had the discussion five thousand times about using things and putting them back. Finally found them, quick mascara application taking care not to stab my eye as is likely in a rush and as has happened many a time on just such an occasion, feeling successful that this was avoided this morning, throwing things into my handbag, smoothing my frazzled hair, gulping my fake coffee and grabbing one of my toasts to eat on the way. Oh shoot forgot to tell the child who is currently sleeping, as she has an afternoon exam, husband patiently waiting in the car, ran back inside to wake up said teen, good luck was fired at her with a fleeting kiss and as I was running out the door I yelled make sure you shut all the windows and lock the door when you leave! As we are driving to the course and I am shovelling my vogels into my face to finish it in time, I remember that I forgot cash for the bus...*sigh*.
So thankfully I was actually only five minutes late but like a naughty school child I was reprimanded by the course leader who said 'there are seats at the front I'm sorry as that is all that's left, if you had been here early like advised you would have had more choice" to which I smiled sweetly and took it! Now the course was great, as great as one can get for a tax course, met a nice lady who also works from home and we talked about having coffee some time next week so that was a plus. However, forgot I am now caffine free in all that rushing and had not one but two coffee's in the course break while chatting to someone and didn't realise until they were gone. Went into the second half of the course hoping like mad that my body doesn't do anything crazy as a result of having caffine after nearly two weeks without it...I'm sure you are all aware of the laxative affect that caffine can sometimes have and this was in the forefront of my mind as we delved into deemed dividends and associated persons tax rules! But it's OK people nothing happened in that department and there is no manic twitching either, which was my other concern, it seems to have had absolutely zero impact on my body...phew!
Right so the bus timetable would have worked beautifully had I had the cash needed to get a ticket, but since I had forgotten the cash I needed to walk in the opposite direction to get cash by which time I had missed the bus. But silver lining was that the place I got cash from was Spotlight so taking every advantage of the sucky situation I found myself in I indulged in my guilty pleasure of buying fabric just because I like it and came away with some beautiful fabrics. Have I told you how much I love fabric?! I LOVE FABRIC!!!
I was walking with my lovely bunch of fabric to the bus stop when I suddenly realised I didn't have my drink bottle anymore (this may seem not important but anyone who knows me knows that I go nowhere without my trusty drink bottle, and it's a metal one so it keeps the water nice and cool - I know I have issues!!)...man! But the bus wasn't going to be there for another half an hour so I had time to kill. I turned around and retraced my steps...not in the hotel toilet...not in the hotel conference room...walked all the way back to Spotlight and found it on the counter. Now back to the bus stop and by this time the chaffing in my inner thighs was getting a little stingy as each inner thigh was fighting for position - skirts in warm weather (or when one is flustered and sweaty) when one has to walk further than the kitchen for fake coffee or the bathroom for the toilet is not a good idea...and I know this...but yet I still choose to wear the skirt...hmmmm. So with each step hurting a little more than the last, I fantasised about the leggings I would soon be wearing at home and reminded myself of what one of my wise teenagers said the other day "Mum do you know that pain is only in your mind - it's not real"...Hannah I tried rolling with that but girlfriend inner thigh chaffing is real and it HURTS!!
At least there was a seat at the bus stop and a mural that made me smile and twenty whole minutes later the bus finally came. Two buses and over an hour later I was finally walking down my driveway, thankful that we live down a long drive off a culdesac as the teenager had done a stella job of locking the doors and shutting the dining room window, however the window right next to my computer just next to the front door was wide open! As were all the bedroom windows round the back...teenagers!! But maybe just maybe she had had a morning like mine and so I need to give the girl a break because sometimes it's just one of those days!
Take care and till then