time flies...

How is it that you can feel two completely opposite feelings at the same time?? Time feels like it is flying by with these children of mine but at the same time I feel as though they have been sharing this journey with me forever.

It seems like just yesterday I was a baby having a baby but all the time thinking I was so grown up.  I remember the sheer panic on my first night with my first born and suddenly realising that I was responsible for her start in this world and I didn't even know what I was doing with my own life let alone how to raise her.

Then it was only a short 18 months later that we were welcoming another little life into the world and those were some hard days to be sure.  It was all such a blur in so many ways and I didn't spend much time enjoying the journey in those days which makes me feel a little sad about the missed opportunities but I guess everyone with toddlers and babies can relate to that.  Starting out on the parenthood journey so young and having my first two so close together I just had no concept of enjoying the ride and counted the minutes until afternoon sleep time and 7pm at night when peace would reign and I could do what I wanted to not what I had to...remember I was young!

With a bit of a gap and life starting to get a little easier to manage we made the decision to add one more to our little family and she made it complete.  This was definitely a different experience to having two close together.  For the first two children it was what felt like years of poo, snot, tantrums, day sleeps, cut up apples, High 5 episodes and early starts to my days so I was in the zone and it just kept going for what felt like forever.  By the time the third little one came along I was out the other side of my toilet training days and discovering some freedom from all the poo and snot.  It was a very weird feeling to find myself back to changing nappies and broken sleep and I must admit I felt somewhat of a beginner all over again.  How quickly we forget!  But I must say being a little older and dare I say it, a little wiser, I had learnt a little about enjoying the journey and the moments it brings and there were some very precious times.

So with these girls of mine I feel as though our souls and hearts have been connected for all eternity and I can barely remember my days before they were part of it but at the same time I can't believe that in three short years our eldest will have finished school, will officially be an adult and will be venturing out on her own journey in this world.

I love watching and being part of their growth, even though it is painful at times for all involved and the thought of running away is sometimes, I will admit, appealing.  Ultimately, I feel privileged to get to see these little babies of mine become women with their own minds, opinions (of which there are plenty!), beliefs, qualities, strengths, struggles, passions, relationships and hearts.

Looking over these photos almost doesn't make sense and it seems hard to comprehend the mix of emotions and feelings I have.  Each photo takes me straight back to that time and it was as though it is yesterday but then I look at the most recent ones and it just can't be possible that these young ladies are my babies.  My mind cannot comprehend but my heart falls more in love with them everyday and I feel honoured, blessed and humbled that they were given to me to share the journey with.

When we start out as parents we are concerned with all that we will teach our children but what I have come to realise is that parenthood is really about what our children will teach us.

Take care and till then

fabric love for xmas...

I am a self-confessed fabricaholic!

So it's not really surprising that back in 2010 I was immediately drawn to the idea of fabric present bags when I came across them on Soule Mama's blog here.  So many reasons as to why this is a fantastic idea but my top five are...

1. they are made from fabric!  this means more choosing of fabric!!
2. they are easy to make
3. you can be as colourful and creative as you like
4. no more expensive, waste of money, more waste for the rubbish wrapping paper!
5. they can be given as part of the gift to others for the beginning of their stash

I also love that once I have finally got around to making these and satisfied my own desire to make them, the kiddies can get involved in the process too, designing and creating their own.

So just after reading Amanda's post, feeling inspired with a sense of urgency to get my fabric pressie bags made, I, of course, set about gathering supplies and then....they have sat in my cupboard for the last four years!

Well feeling inspired I have got those supplies out again to look over them and renew that sense of urgency as I am determined that I will get them made.  Now no promises that it will be by this xmas as I have a somewhat secret special birthday pressie that I am furiously working on to be finished in time for the recipient, not to mention I haven't even begun on my xmas preparations. 

Normally around August I am working out what I will be making for everyone for xmas and some years I have even started making by then.  I have 19 nieces and nephews and 3 children of my own so understandably it requires a great deal of organisation and preparation.  

Well this year has really put a spanner in the works with us moving islands in October.  All that packing and cleaning before and unpacking and more cleaning after as well as keeping on top of my full time job and being a Mum has left the xmas planning a little neglected.  I have now created my list and it will be an absolute miracle if I can get it all done in time meaning those longed for pressie bags will have to wait another year...*sigh*

I will instead leave you with photos of Soule Mama's beautiful fabric pressie bags that will go under her tree this year and photos of supplies that have the potential to be cute fabric pressie bags under our tree next year.

Check out Soule Mama's blog here, she is my fave!  I just love reading her posts and soaking in the inspiration.

Take care and till then...

a moment of courage

So a couple of days ago we had a life journey win for my youngest daughter, Jade.  Since moving four weeks ago we are just starting to meet the neighbours in our new little culdesac.  We live down a long driveway and we have a good hill to get back up to get to the street.  It is a calm quiet peaceful place with no traffic noise at all even though we are so close to busy roads.  Our trees are full of Fantails and Tuis (as well as many others that I have no idea of the names of!) and the music they make is unreal.  It's like having your own little forest in your backyard.

It started a few days ago when Jade and I were on our way walking to school.  We had just made our way huffing and puffing to the top of our drive and we were on a mission because she hates being late to school. The neighbour at the top of the drive managed to catch us to make some introductions. Turns out that they have three children too, and their youngest was the same age as Jade and their second child was only a year older than her.  As Jade and I walked away repeating the new names over and over so as not to forget and Jade trying very hard to compose herself at the thought of being late to school, we decided that maybe that would be fun having friends up the drive.

Two days later she wanted to go and scooter up in the culdesac and so I suggested that if she felt brave enough she could ask the neighbours if they wanted to play too.  She looked at me and her little eyes were filled with doubt while my husband was horrified and having kittens at the uncoolness of my suggestion.  He quickly tried to talk her out of my suggestion but I told him and his cool genes to be quiet!  She didn't go and ask them, her little frown telling me she was worrying about what they would say so I didn't push it but just let her mull it over.

Five minutes later she came back and with a little hope in her voice, asked if I was sure that was an acceptable thing to do.  I said to her that if she was too shy to ask and they were too shy to ask then no one would ask and no one would get to play.  I also reminded her that someone had to make the first move and asked her what was the worst thing that could happen.  After a little thought she told me it was them saying no.  So I reminded her she didn't have to do it but that in my opinion if she could live with a no then it was worth the risk.

She took a deep breath, found her courage, took the plunge and went and knocked on their door! The best bit is that they said yes!!

I love that her desire to have playmates won out over her fear of stepping out and that as a result for the last three days the three of them have been inseparable.  Makes my heart so happy to see her playing outside, running around, happy and laughing with new friends that all came about from her moment of courage!

Life lesson for the little one in the house - sometimes you have to make the first move even when it's scary and that one moment of courage can result in many moments of joy!

So between Jade's new culdesac club and the new skateboard purchased with birthday money by my eldest, all three children are spending hours amusing themselves outside at the end of the day.  I find myself breathing in the peace and contentment while children's chatter and giggles float in on the gentle early evening, almost summer, breeze.  This is what life is about!

Sneaky photo of the culdesac club exploring the backyard

Another sneaky photo of the skateboarding action out front

Take care and till then

getting my gardening on

It's been a while since I last posted I'm sad to say...life happened and got ridiculous...went on my first ever overseas trip to the US of A and it was awesome, mind blowing, inspiring and eye opening.   Then seven weeks after getting home my family and I made a big move from Christchurch, where we had been doing life for the last three years, back to our home town of Hamilton.  So as you can imagine it's been a fairly exhausting few months for me.

Let me just say of my trip...I LOVE NEW YORK!!!  I am going back again one day because that is not the end for me and my New York, oh no!  I felt alive standing as one small human in amongst thousands of strangers all going about their journeys, the different languages and cultures buzzing around me, the buildings, the subway, the lights...I am in love!! Enough said...

So the move went well and me, the hubby, the three kids, two cats, a trailer full of stuff, a moving truck full of more stuff and my Dad got that business done.  We've been back now for a month and it's a great feeling to be home.  The girls are thriving in their schools, I feel more peaceful than I have in a long while, we have had an abundance of time with family and friends and even the cats are happy and slightly crazy playful.  And there is only about 15 boxes left to unpack in the garage...*sigh*...one day...

For quite a few years I've wanted to have a go at growing my own veggies and herbs.  Now when we were in Christchurch we lived in a house that had considerable liquifaction so I didn't feel comfortable planting and growing food we were going to eat in that so I held off.  I could have planted in pots but there just never seemed to be the cash to put towards that (always other things on the list more important) and to be fair I was doing a great deal of surviving not thriving for the last three years.

Anyway within a week at our new place in Hamilton, with guidance from my sister in law, I had my first ever veggie garden planted.  And now three weeks on and we are eating from it!  Planted in my veggie patches is spinach, lettuce, spring onions, radishes, tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, basil, oregano, thyme, rosemary and mint.  I don't need to buy spinach or lettuce anymore as we have plenty from the garden and the feeling is just really quite hard to describe.  To put it simply I feel connected and satisfied.  I find myself a little addicted to my little garden, checking it two or three times a day and feeling such immense joy at the sight of my little veggie babies growing and flourishing.  I even have my first flower buds on my tomato plants and I am so excited at the thought of one day be eating tomatoes from my garden.  I now have some understanding for all you crazy gardening people!

I got out a gardening book from the library last week to see if I could learn some things but that was a mistake for this beginner as it completely overwhelmed me with information and I wondered how I was ever going to be any good at this gardening business.  So before long I put that book down and decided to learn on the journey instead.  I really appreciate the family and friends that have given me little nuggets of advice and tips and tricks for my garden.

The bugs....I started with slug and snail bait but it just didn't sit well with me so I am at the moment exploring and experimenting with organic alternatives.  I now have crushed eggshells around my lettuce's and spinach plants, and marigolds standing guard around my patches.  I am planning on getting more marigold plants as I'm not too sure how many is enough but the yellow ones are little flowers of happiness in my garden so I think there's nothing wrong with more of them!  I am having a 'my cats are digging up my patch' problem and have tried the eucalyptus oil on rocks around the garden to deter them as cats can't stand that smell but the Waikato is quite a wet place in spring and that mixed with regularly watering the garden means the rocks are useless.  So I'm thinking I may need some netting to deter those little beasts...I will work on that.  In the meantime when I am out there watering my babies and one of the little rascals comes to pay a visit I have lightly squirted him with the hose to make that area undesirable...not sure on my logic but giving it a go anyway and it makes me giggle just a little!

Who knew gardening was such fun!

my little lettuces

cherry tomato plant

first crop from the lettuces and the marigolds and basil ready to plant

radishes starting to sprout

tomato plants getting bigger each day

spring onions and spinach with egg shell protection

this was the beginning...the very first day of my garden

me on that first day!

the other garden bed on it's first day as my veggie garden

marigolds standing guard

my little herbs all in a row

lavender plant bud

first flower buds on the cherry tomato

thyme 

oregano and thyme

I am very much a beginner with so much to learn but for now I am enjoying the ride!

Take care and till then