Wrapped up in that one little word is money, career progression, copious amounts of material possessions, status, admiration and for those that don't ever 'make it'...failure! One little word that through our own human failings has become so damaging.
I am by no means immune to this way of thinking and have on many occasions found myself tied up in knots chasing the tail of this mysterious creature that will make all the hard work worthwhile. But one of the many problems with our current day definition of success is that it has an insatiable appetite that is never fully satisfied. We work and work, accumulate and accumulate but there is always more money to be made, more career progression to chase, higher rungs on the ladder to be climbed, more possessions to buy and one can never really have too much admiration can they??
Sometimes we are so busy measuring our 'successes' with the ruler of materialism that we miss the deeply soul satisfying success that is our life everyday. And by we I am definitely including me! I have had a couple of those weeks where expectations of others have dominated my thoughts and I stopped being true to myself in an effort to be 'successful'. I was grumpy, angry even, frustrated, resentful of my circumstances and feeling down. I was waking up with headaches and having trouble sleeping as I was constantly worrying about how I was going to be this driven career woman conquering the world when my heart was betraying me at every step. In my soul I don't want this path and I had stopped listening. There was a disconnect which led to being very unhappy and out of sync with who I am. So this weekend I began to ponder what 'success' really is and thought I would share my thoughts.
We don't own a home, we don't have oodles of money, in fact we still live pay to pay, we have three daughters, two of which are teenagers, we don't have flash cars and for the most part I buy mine and my daughters clothes second hand and could not just decide to go clothes shopping whenever I like. We both finished our degrees late (after we had the children) and started our 'careers' late. So by the ruler of modern day success we are not doing terribly well and I will admit that this has got me down a great deal of times.
After much pondering I have come to the conclusion that we were never meant to be using a universal measure of success for every person. We all have our very own individual purposes, strengths, weaknesses and journeys and therefore our own individual success rulers.
Would not a more true and real definition of success be to be true to oneself no matter how hard that is at times, even if it goes against what others think, and learning to embrace and hold onto happiness and peace of soul and mind everyday? In fact should we not guard that peace and happiness if we find it? With this in mind wouldn't we all then need to find out what it is that makes us happy as individuals?
Well for me craft and creating makes me happy, hanging out and enjoying the company of my husband and girls makes me happy, having our home be a safe place for us all to be who we are makes me happy, kindness ruling over the need to be right makes me happy, dreaming and having hope makes me happy and seeing the beauty in the small things makes me happy. None of those things are at all to do with careers, money or possessions. So how is chasing careers, money or possessions ever going to bring me true happiness and feelings of success? It's not!
'Success' is something you can achieve everyday not a goal you are chasing for the whole of your life. Being you and being the best you can be today is something worth celebrating at each step.
Success to me is...
- creating
- being happy and peaceful in the depths of my soul
- being present
- choosing kindness over being right when being right is not important
- living within our means
- providing for all our children's needs and many of their wants
- giving my best at my place of employment
- raising our girls to be honest, kind, considerate and responsible people who will contribute their own value to this world
- still enjoying my husbands company after 15 years - long may that last!
- being able to laugh and enjoy each other's company in amongst the chaos
And it is all of these things as well as the smaller everyday moments of success that I need to remember to hold onto when I begin to feel the pressures of this world creeping in and the ruler of materialism knocking at my door.
One of my successes this week....finally finishing my crochet blanket!!
Take care and till then,
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